Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Perfection Prevents Possibilities

There are many out there who know me well, who actually think I'm a perfectionist, but nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, my dad had huge problems with me growing up, where he felt that I just didn't try hard enough to do things "the right way" (i.e. the perfect way, i.e. his way). There are many out there who also know me, who constantly ask how it is that I manage to do so many things with what I have going on in my life - You mean to tell me that you have three small kids, run your own business, manage your household, AND you have a blog?? How do you do it all?

I have thought about this quite a bit. For a long time I thought the answer might be in my minimal TV watching. I was so self-rightous about how little TV I watch. But, then, I realized, that I go through spurts of no TV, and lots of TV. I like to watch movies, and those do take a while to watch.

Then, while talking to a good friend recently, she (so very kindly) says "...and you never do anything half-assed." This really piqued my interest. Besides the fact that we all crave to have others tell us positive things about ourselves, this comment really started me thinking about how I do things, and how do I manage to do so much?

At this point, I think the answer truly lies in the fact that I do like to have a day packed with lots of activities, because, to me, this is Living Each Day. And truly, I do many of these things very well, but I do many of them half-assed.

And I'm ok with that.

My kids don't always have their hair brushed. They (well, the older two at least) are responsible for dressing themselves and getting themselves ready for the day. This has caused me many a raised eyebrow, but I quickly move on, without a comment or bad look.

My car is a disaster - NEVER clean. Just ask my DH. He actually hates driving my car, or really, ever being in it. There is a definite smell of KID in there. I let them do everything, including eat ice cream in there. My DH just cringes at the thought, but, hey, life is too short not to immediately eat that McyD's ice cream cone right out the drive through!

Let's move on to bigger, more important things: I have my own business, Papier Studio, but did I have any experience running a greeting card company before? Heck no! I just started, jumped into the water! It's amazing how quickly you learn to swim when you just jump in. Did I do a little research? Sure. Just a little. But I didn't explore the industry as a whole, and three years later, I still have a lot to learn.

I don't always have milk in the frig, I don't always have the best, planned out dinners, I don't always have the best blog themes. In fact, for last month and this month, I didn't even have a giveaway item! That's after promising myself to have one every month this year! Do I stress and bite my nails over it? No way.

Would you ever think to yourself: I'm not gonna make dinner tonight, because I just don't have any tomatoes (or whatever) for the salad, so it won't be perfect, and I just won't eat. No way! But how many times have you said to yourself: "I can't start my dream because I have no idea how to do accounting or how to rent a storefront, or even where to start."

I'll tell you a secret: You don't need all the answers right away.

It sure would be nice if we could all be perfect, but perfection prevents possibility. Striving for perfection is simply a waste of time - because it is unachievable. Instead, strive for failure - a great place to learn, grow, and accomplish your goals. If nothing else, you will have actually acheived what you set out to do. Then, go out and do it again! Try it. You might be surprised at what happens!


karnooshka said...

Wonderful post...this is a concept I am still trying to learn :)

Maija said...

You got it going on girl! I think you are focused on the right elements to live each day to it's fullest! You rock, Tally!
Love the darling photo of the kiddies in the window....

Jennifer said...

What mother couldn't relate to you? Some things can be micro-managed and some things you just gotta let go of! Good entry.


peggy gatto said...

I wish I knew all of this when I was trying to be the perfect 70's housewife and mother! Would I do it over, no.....but I probably wouldn't have "beat myself up" so much!
Tally, enjoy your wisdom!