Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I Want to be A Butterfly

One day, while a man was working in his garden, he saw a beautiful, fat caterpillar crawling along a vine. It was moving very slowly and he decided to stop what he was doing to observe the little creature. To his amazement, the caterpillar began building his cocoon! Slowly, slowly, the caterpillar constructed a dark shell around his body, which eventually scrunched up into the tiny capsule.

The man checked the cocoon several times a day for the next few days. Finally, one of those days, he saw the cocoon twitching and realized the butterfly was about to come out. First, the top of the cocoon slowly cracked opened. Then a small antenna emerged. The butterfly was moving very slowly, and the man watched as the butterfly struggled immensely to push its large body, then the top of its wings out of the small opening in the cocoon. An hour went by as he watched the struggle.

It pained the man so much to watch this long struggle, so he decided he would help the butterfly. With a swift flick of his finger, he opened the rest of the cocoon, allowing the butterfly to easily slip out. Once out, the butterfly’s wet wings slumped over itself. It just sat there, not moving, still struggling to walk. During the next hour, the man could only watch as the butterfly died.

What the man didn’t realize was that the butterfly needed to go through that small hole in the cocoon, which effectively removes the fluid off the wings so that the butterfly can then open them and fly away to begin its life. The struggle was the most important part of becoming a butterfly.

I am in the midst of my own struggle – a struggle that I know I am definitely not alone. There is a multi-billion dollar industry surrounded around this struggle – my weight. Ok, I know, I just had a baby, but how long can I really use that as an excuse? I’ll go into more detail on another post, but I wanted to share my art journal entry about this issue – I am making many entries about this issue, and, at a minimum, I’m not eating while I’m arting.

I am struggling, but I realize that the struggle is a very important (maybe the most important) part of becoming a person who eats smaller portions, doesn't need dessert after every meal, and makes fruit and vegetables a larger portion of the foods I eat every day. Maybe your struggle isn't with weight, it's with figuring out what you want to do next in your life - careers, children or even combining the two. What are you struggling with that you just can't seem to acheive?

If I don't struggle, I will not learn. If I don't learn, I will make the same mistakes over again, and I will never fly.

So, as the journal layout says, I am still in my cocoon. I'm figuring it all out.


jakelliesmom said...

It is a beautiful piece, and important words.

Of the weight struggle, I can only offer this: at some point, you'll decide what is and is not negotiable for you, and perhaps will discover what is keeping you from your final goal.

Here to help if you need.

BloggingQueen said...

Oh so many struggles: the one I'm publicly wrestling with is to take myself seriously enough, as an artist, to make it my Day Job. And you'll read about it in eye-clawing detail on the blog, of course.

And you're right: if you're arting, you're not eating. But I think your weight struggle will become less of a problem more quickly than you think.

One of your strengths, girlie, is that you're formidable when you set your mind to something.

And remember, you're in LA. Your kid goes to school with the offspring of rock stars and actors. You live among people who actually think it's possible to look like Angelina Jolie 24/7.

livvysmah said...

I thhink you are a beautiful person, inside and out. I can totally understand the image thing, though. We see ourselves so critically. More so than anyone else does or will ever do. When I feel particularlly low, like I do today, I change something. It could be the placement of something in the house or my earrings, the lipgloss in my bag. Something small and simple, and when I do, I feel better.

Tally O said...

Thanks guys - I know it's not easy when there are two REAL Baywatch babes at your kids' school, but I'm really going for health and looks. There's a way better selection of cool clothes just outside the "womans" section.

Christiana Lawson said...

would you be interested in sharing this story with millions of highschool students in China? we're looking for good inspiring stories for a supplemental English Language learning text, and your story here (and blog) is that!